Advice Area

maybe there ought to be a place to give and get advice?
Sort of like a help-line of some sort.

Lol What does one do when they dont know if what there doing is right, but cant stop?

Depends on the action,and if they really really want to keep doing it. If they dont' want to do it because other people think it's not right, then they should figure out what they want to do, and try to not care about what others think. I used to feel bad about my sleeping around habits. Then I realized that if I didn't do it then, I might be even more miserable than I am right now in life. I needed to stop listening to my mom's voice in my head, berating me all the time. Once you figure out if it's wrong for you, or wrong for other people in your life that you care about, and how much your choice really effects them, then you'll have an idea of what to do. Hope that makes some kind of sense....

It makes sence, but I cant really see the point if both continuing and stoping lead to me being miserable >.<

I might as well ask here, because I don't know where else to ask it.

I met this one amazing girl near the beginning of the school year. I was struck by...well, everything about her. She is the kind of gorgeous that doesn’t fade with age, she's smart as hell, and she is great at picking up the spirits of her friends. (I know this from personal experience.)

There's just one problem, though. In the time between I said, "Yeah, she's amazing and all, but she probably has a boyfriend," and the time that I figured out that I need to be around this girl as much as possible, she found herself a boyfriend.

Don't misunderstand--if she were dating a great guy, I could probably just suck it in and be happy for her. But she's not. The dude isn't the worst-looking guy in the world, but he's incredibly immature and unkind. His interest doesn't go much farther than smoking pot, watching sports, and drinking beer. He's mostly dating her just for the sex. Even worse, they hardly get to see each other since she is so busy with school activities and work obligations. (Doesn't sound bad? Well, the little bit of spare time she has is spent with this guy, leaving me in the cold.)

She's said some things to me that could be interpreted as being interested in me, but they could also mean nothing. I want this woman more than I've wanted any other woman, but if I'm wrong, then our friendship is basically over--meaning that I won't have anybody to talk to at 12:30 at night. And yes, she is smart, but she's also young and insecure, and the way she talks about her guy, she seems to be more happy that she HAS a boyfriend than who her boyfriend is.

So, as far as I can see, I've got 3 choices:

1: Put this out of my mind for another month and see if she comes to her senses. Eventually, she's going to wake up and wonder, "What am I doing dating HIM?" But this might land me in the "friend zone", or leave her with the "I just got OUT of a relationship" excuse.

2: The next chance I get, lay my heart, liver, intestines, everything I've got on the table, and give the big speech that you always see the sensitive dude make in chick flicks. Advantage: I get this out of my system. Disadvantage: the obvious.

3: Get her something great for her birthday, which is coming up. Not just "oh, what a nice present" great, but "hey, this is more than my boyfriend spent on me" great.

And...your turn.

JGosling wrote:

I might as well ask here, because I don't know where else to ask it.

I met this one amazing girl near the beginning of the school year. I was struck by...well, everything about her. She is the kind of gorgeous that doesn’t fade with age, she's smart as hell, and she is great at picking up the spirits of her friends. (I know this from personal experience.)

There's just one problem, though. In the time between I said, "Yeah, she's amazing and all, but she probably has a boyfriend," and the time that I figured out that I need to be around this girl as much as possible, she found herself a boyfriend.

Don't misunderstand--if she were dating a great guy, I could probably just suck it in and be happy for her. But she's not. The dude isn't the worst-looking guy in the world, but he's incredibly immature and unkind. His interest doesn't go much farther than smoking pot, watching sports, and drinking beer. He's mostly dating her just for the sex. Even worse, they hardly get to see each other since she is so busy with school activities and work obligations. (Doesn't sound bad? Well, the little bit of spare time she has is spent with this guy, leaving me in the cold.)

She's said some things to me that could be interpreted as being interested in me, but they could also mean nothing. I want this woman more than I've wanted any other woman, but if I'm wrong, then our friendship is basically over--meaning that I won't have anybody to talk to at 12:30 at night. And yes, she is smart, but she's also young and insecure, and the way she talks about her guy, she seems to be more happy that she HAS a boyfriend than who her boyfriend is.

So, as far as I can see, I've got 3 choices:

1: Put this out of my mind for another month and see if she comes to her senses. Eventually, she's going to wake up and wonder, "What am I doing dating HIM?" But this might land me in the "friend zone", or leave her with the "I just got OUT of a relationship" excuse.

2: The next chance I get, lay my heart, liver, intestines, everything I've got on the table, and give the big speech that you always see the sensitive dude make in chick flicks. Advantage: I get this out of my system. Disadvantage: the obvious.

3: Get her something great for her birthday, which is coming up. Not just "oh, what a nice present" great, but "hey, this is more than my boyfriend spent on me" great.

And...your turn.

Do Number 2, bro. Although you may not get the answer you've been wanting to hear, at least you'll know; and so will she; that you finally told this person just how much they really mean to you. Holding that inside would be the worst mistake ever made.

JGosling wrote:

I might as well ask here, because I don't know where else to ask it.

I met this one amazing girl near the beginning of the school year. I was struck by...well, everything about her. She is the kind of gorgeous that doesn’t fade with age, she's smart as hell, and she is great at picking up the spirits of her friends. (I know this from personal experience.)

There's just one problem, though. In the time between I said, "Yeah, she's amazing and all, but she probably has a boyfriend," and the time that I figured out that I need to be around this girl as much as possible, she found herself a boyfriend.

Don't misunderstand--if she were dating a great guy, I could probably just suck it in and be happy for her. But she's not. The dude isn't the worst-looking guy in the world, but he's incredibly immature and unkind. His interest doesn't go much farther than smoking pot, watching sports, and drinking beer. He's mostly dating her just for the sex. Even worse, they hardly get to see each other since she is so busy with school activities and work obligations. (Doesn't sound bad? Well, the little bit of spare time she has is spent with this guy, leaving me in the cold.)

She's said some things to me that could be interpreted as being interested in me, but they could also mean nothing. I want this woman more than I've wanted any other woman, but if I'm wrong, then our friendship is basically over--meaning that I won't have anybody to talk to at 12:30 at night. And yes, she is smart, but she's also young and insecure, and the way she talks about her guy, she seems to be more happy that she HAS a boyfriend than who her boyfriend is.

So, as far as I can see, I've got 3 choices:

1: Put this out of my mind for another month and see if she comes to her senses. Eventually, she's going to wake up and wonder, "What am I doing dating HIM?" But this might land me in the "friend zone", or leave her with the "I just got OUT of a relationship" excuse.

2: The next chance I get, lay my heart, liver, intestines, everything I've got on the table, and give the big speech that you always see the sensitive dude make in chick flicks. Advantage: I get this out of my system. Disadvantage: the obvious.

3: Get her something great for her birthday, which is coming up. Not just "oh, what a nice present" great, but "hey, this is more than my boyfriend spent on me" great.

And...your turn.

I honestly Think u should do number 2 but...
Im in the same situation, I know I should tell them But I think i'd rather die than take the chance, so I kinda bottled up everything for the past few years...

JGosling...

I think you should just tell her how you feel because she may feel the same way even though she is dating that other guy. that guy doesn't seem like much of anything special. i'm sure you're much more interesting and fun than that guy is. he sounds like a loser.

but if you sit around and wait, she may never come around. if you don't try, you will never know and then you will regret not telling her.

JGosling I think you should do like a mix of all 3. What I mean by that is don't lay your heart on the table just yet. Try to give her clues that you like her and the present thing is a great way to start. After a month if that doesn't work I'd go for it.

My problem:
I am terrified of relationships. I just assume guys are all pigs who want nothing more than sex and it's really prevented me from having relationships. I've had one boyfriend and dumped him after a week because I was so nervous and felt so vulnerable. This guy keeps trying to hang out with me but I feel nauseaus when I think about it! Ugh.

What's so bad about sex, though? I mean...sure, guys can lie and say they know what they're doing, then leave you to your own ....ahem....devices, to get off. But, for me, sex with love means a continuation of that love you have. Maybe you're not finding the right kind of love. To love is to trust, not only the other person, but yourself.


As for the guy asking about the girl who's got a boyfriend already. . . Well, to be quite honest... it's probably too late. She put you in the friend-zone, and probably won't take you out of it. Unless she genuinely wants to be your girlfriend. Maybe just get drunk or something and kiss her. For me, if I guy I knew and trusted tried to take me away from my boyfriend, it'd depend on if I loved him, if I cared enough about him, to stay with the boyfriend. A part of me craves romance,and ditching a boyfriend to be with a cool guy-friend sounds mighty romantic to me!

As for my problem. . . (I see a recurring theme: love, maybe there should be a seperate area for it? Called "Love Advice")

I've been with my boyfriend for two years now (well, in May it'll be 2 years).
He was chatting with other girls about 8 months into the relationship, about 10 months into the relationship I finally got enough "balls" (well, I'm a girl...but anyway) to confront him on it. He lied at first. I didnt' believe him, but was too hurt to confront him. Then I confronted again, a few weeks after this, and he came up with (what I think to be another lie) he's got an STD (from the first girl he slept with), that's why he doesn't want to be intimate all the time. Also, he has a problem with masturbation.

Ok. I forgave him. Well, it seems to me that every so often he gets this distance about him, physical and emotional. Recently, I've confronted him about it, and he just kind of brushes it off, makes me think I'm paranoid.

Deep down, I'm tired of all this bullshit. Deep down, I'm terrified of being alone.
Deep down, I know I need to leave, but deep down, I totally love his lying, cheating-by-proxy ass.

I'm done with the crying phase. Now I just don't know if I ought to continue in this relationship, even if I have no where else to go.

Deep down I think you already have your answer. The question is, do the reasons to stay outweigh the reasons to leave?

Thanks for the advice, peeps. I'll do that "combo of all 3" advice suggested by YellowBird. Sure, I might be in the "friend zone" already, but I find it easier to live in hope.

Passing on the goodwill towards soup or salad:

(Keep in mind that I could offer you better advice if I knew more about you and your boyfriend. Not asking you to clarify things; just stating that in case you feel hurt by something.)

First of all, the longer you are with someone, the harder it is to leave them. Consider what you would have done if he had pulled this crap after you were going out for 2 weeks. Would you have stayed? If I was in your spot, I wouldn't. Put me in your spot now, though, and I can't honestly say what I would do.

Second of all (and you're probably not going to like what I'm about to say), part of the blame for him repeatedly lying to you and putting a wall between the two of you should be put on you. YES, he IS wrong for lying to you, but you are at fault for putting up with it. He lied to you, and instead of calling him out on it, you let it slide. And let me just state this right now--a relationship built on lies is not a healthy relationship. It's not healthy for him, as he is learning that he can get away with doing anything without worrying about the consequences, and it's not healthy for you, since you are putting up with someone who is making you feel inferior. (This doesn't make you a bad person. I'm just stating how it looks to me.)

Third of all, you ALWAYS have somewhere to go. You have your friends. You have your family (or, at the very least, people who are so close they might as well be family). And you have a pretty good track record, too--regardless of the circumstances and how it felt, you've been in a relationship for almost 2 years. Most people don't have that kind of loyalty, or at least proof of it. No matter what happens, you won't be alone.

So, here's my advice. Sit him down (DO NOT GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO ESCAPE!) and have a long conversation with him. (I'm not telling you to break up with him ASAP because frankly, after two years of dating, you owe it to each other to take some time with this business. Plus, you will look even better if you can honestly say "I gave him one more chance, and he blew it".) Tell him how you feel, and don't hold anything back. Make him know that this conversation is his last chance at keeping you (because it is, or should be). After you lay it all out, listen to what he has to say. DO NOT fall for "but I love you" or "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you". Listen for something concrete. Don't let him play Gepetto with your heartstrings. Either (1) he'll give a perfectly legitimate excuse for his behavior (unlikely) or (2) he'll try to talk himself out of a corner by giving more lies. If he says something that strikes you as being dishonest, call him out on it the second the words fly out of his mouth. If he tells you all the things you heard the last time you confronted him on this crap, tell him it's over. Then walk away.

I'm not saying that you can stop loving him with a snap of your fingers. But it's not healthy to be in a relationship that makes you feel like crap.

soup or salad wrote:

Now I just don't know if I ought to continue in this relationship, even if I have no where else to go.

I think to be honest, you already know what you ought to do. Not having anywhere else to go isn't a good enough reason to sideline yourself with someone who doesn't respect your relationship, or you. Don't cheat yourself. Believe me, I've been there, and done that. All it amounts to is years wasted when you could of been working towards something that would actually satisfy you completely and make you happy.

If you are scared, do it slowly and easy. Make a plan. Take baby steps. Outline what you want, or need.

A job, a savings plan, a car, friends to support your decisions, where to move, ect ect ect.

That would be my advice.

JGosling wrote:

Thanks for the advice, peeps. I'll do that "combo of all 3" advice suggested by YellowBird. Sure, I might be in the "friend zone" already, but I find it easier to live in hope.

I don't know, call me an optimist, or an eternal romantic at heart, but I don't really believe in the "friend zone". Or maybe rather I don't believe in the end of the line, you're never going anywhere but here "friend zone".

A million things could be running through her mind about you. Friend could be one of them, but who knows. Maybe she was just was, or is waiting for you to make your move.

Follow your heart I say!

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years. I know it sounds pathetic, but I am literally completely dependent on him.
I hang out with him all the time. Literally 100% of the time I can spend with him, I do. We fight a lot because we're together so much of the time, but I don't even care because I love him so god damn much. I can't even SAY how much I love him. In order to survive, I need food, water, shelter, and Sam. He's my entire world and I literally cannot imagine what my life would be like without him.

That being said, our relationship is doomed. He's graduating soon, and then leaving for college shortly after that. I'm only a junior, so I'll have to stay here, wasting away without him.
I know I sound SO melodramatic. I know. It's pathetic and annoying. But he's literally everything I've got!!
I've always hung out with people older than me; my two best friends are actually freshmen in college right now. Not that it matters what age group of people I like to associate with, this year was just really hard with them being gone. I literally had to make an entire new group of friends who, coincidentally, is graduating this year and leaving me.

So in essence, my two BEST friends are already gone and drifting away, my new friends will be doing that in a matter of months, and my boyfriend, who means more to me than everyone else combined, is leaving for college as well, and our breakup is inevitable.

GOD this is getting so long. I'll try to be quick about the rest.
Basically, all of this is just making me really sad, I guess. I hate to use the term depression because of the stigma it brings....but I have nearly every single symptom, and have for at least the past two months.
I just feel so.....hopeless.
I love Sam more than anything, anyone else in the world, and he's leaving me.
He's away on vacation for spring break right now, and I feel like I'm suffocating without him here with me. I have no idea what I'll do next year when he's gone for real.


The worst part of it is, I know he's so excited to be leaving. I know he's been feeling restless, and he's told me that he regrets not dating more girls in high school.
He's going to go away and have the time of his life without me. He's excited to go to new places and have new opportunities and meet new people, and I'm sitting here clinging desperately to the last shreds of time we have to spend together.


It just fucking sucks. I love him so much more than he loves me. I'm only seventeen, but I'm so afraid that he's the person I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life, and he's leaving me. God damnit.

naked lies wrote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly two years. I know it sounds pathetic, but I am literally completely dependent on him.
I hang out with him all the time. Literally 100% of the time I can spend with him, I do. We fight a lot because we're together so much of the time, but I don't even care because I love him so god damn much. I can't even SAY how much I love him. In order to survive, I need food, water, shelter, and Sam. He's my entire world and I literally cannot imagine what my life would be like without him.

That being said, our relationship is doomed. He's graduating soon, and then leaving for college shortly after that. I'm only a junior, so I'll have to stay here, wasting away without him.
I know I sound SO melodramatic. I know. It's pathetic and annoying. But he's literally everything I've got!!
I've always hung out with people older than me; my two best friends are actually freshmen in college right now. Not that it matters what age group of people I like to associate with, this year was just really hard with them being gone. I literally had to make an entire new group of friends who, coincidentally, is graduating this year and leaving me.

So in essence, my two BEST friends are already gone and drifting away, my new friends will be doing that in a matter of months, and my boyfriend, who means more to me than everyone else combined, is leaving for college as well, and our breakup is inevitable.

GOD this is getting so long. I'll try to be quick about the rest.
Basically, all of this is just making me really sad, I guess. I hate to use the term depression because of the stigma it brings....but I have nearly every single symptom, and have for at least the past two months.
I just feel so.....hopeless.
I love Sam more than anything, anyone else in the world, and he's leaving me.
He's away on vacation for spring break right now, and I feel like I'm suffocating without him here with me. I have no idea what I'll do next year when he's gone for real.


The worst part of it is, I know he's so excited to be leaving. I know he's been feeling restless, and he's told me that he regrets not dating more girls in high school.
He's going to go away and have the time of his life without me. He's excited to go to new places and have new opportunities and meet new people, and I'm sitting here clinging desperately to the last shreds of time we have to spend together.


It just fucking sucks. I love him so much more than he loves me. I'm only seventeen, but I'm so afraid that he's the person I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life, and he's leaving me. God damnit.

During my senior year of high school, one of my peers starting dating an underclassman. Last time I checked, they were still together. I graduated in 2005. So just because he is graduating doesn't mean that it's over.

That said, your tone suggests that there has been some indication that the two of you will break up before he leaves. I can't give you advice on what to do until that day arrives, but there's no reason why you can't stop being close friends. Promise to call each other on a frequent basis. Send him cute e-mails. Make your affection known.

Graduating is no longer the overbearing force of separation that it once was. Everybody has cell phones, Facebook pages, MySpace, e-mail, etc. Keeping in contact with the people you love is easier than ever. And if he's as great of a guy as you say he is, he is not going to leave you to drown in your own pile of depression, unless you never tell him that you are sad.

That's my advice on everything, I think: if you've got a problem, talk more. Hasn't failed me yet. Hope that helped.

JGosling wrote:

During my senior year of high school, one of my peers starting dating an underclassman. Last time I checked, they were still together. I graduated in 2005. So just because he is graduating doesn't mean that it's over.

That said, your tone suggests that there has been some indication that the two of you will break up before he leaves. I can't give you advice on what to do until that day arrives, but there's no reason why you can't stop being close friends. Promise to call each other on a frequent basis. Send him cute e-mails. Make your affection known.

Graduating is no longer the overbearing force of separation that it once was. Everybody has cell phones, Facebook pages, MySpace, e-mail, etc. Keeping in contact with the people you love is easier than ever. And if he's as great of a guy as you say he is, he is not going to leave you to drown in your own pile of depression, unless you never tell him that you are sad.

That's my advice on everything, I think: if you've got a problem, talk more. Hasn't failed me yet. Hope that helped.

Thank you for that, really.

I'm pretty sure he would stay with me if I begged him to. But the thing is...I don't want to have to beg him to stay with me. I know he's SO excited to go away to college and start his life and meet new people, and I don't want to take that from him. We've been together for nearly two years and he's so ready for someone different....I love him more than I can express, but I can't force him to stay with me! That would just be cruel.
I want us to stay together because I feel like our relationship is strong enough to handle it, but I don't want to pressure him to stay with me only to have him cheat. I don't want him to secretly resent me for making him stay in this relationship. I don't want him to regret us because he feels like staying together has limited his opportunities.
I want him to love me....but I love him too much to tie him down when I know that's not what he really wants.

Naked Lies -

I was once in a similar situation. I was a sophomore in high school and I was dating a senior. When he went off to college, he promised me that our relationship would last. It lasted...for about two months. We broke up because our relationship just wasn't worth the extra effort of dealing with distance. We realized that whenever we talked on the phone, we just sounded like two friends, not lovers.

The point of that anecdote was to not imply that you should give up hope. Because both of us moved on and dated other people. I know you think your boyfriend is your life, but you probably shouldn't make him the center of the universe - whether or not you think things will actually last.

From experience, I've learned that it's best to just go with the flow and not invest too many expectations into something. That said, don't just give up either.

RunsWithScissors, I know you're right. I know I probably sound like a whiney little teenager, and I've really done it all to myself. But what's done is done and I've become SO dependent on him....I just can't even picture my life without him. I'm not expecting us to stay together because I know that's completely unrealistic, so I guess I'm just whining/moping about it. It just sucks when you're absolutely happy with something and it gets taken away from you, you know?

Not to play the devil's advocate but you'll feel better if you tell him how you feel. Yeah you'll feel "guilty" if he stays for you and puts college off a year or so, but I promise you that you'll feel all better 6 months from now when you have a nightmare only to wake up in his arms. If he chooses to go to school instead than at least you tried, and it isn't like he'll be missing out on it if he waits.

Don't let you destroy things for yourself.

He knows exactly how I feel. He knows that I'm devastated that he's leaving and he's told me that we can stay together if I really want, but I know that's not what he wants.
He's definitely going away. Like, there's not even a 1 percent chance that he wouldn't go to college...so him staying isn't even an option. I was hoping he would want to stay in our state and go somewhere close, but his favorite schools are all really far away.

I dunno. Basically how I feel about the situation is that he's my soulmate, and I'm not his. I'm so completely happy with our relationship and all its faults that I feel like breaking up is never even an option for us...but I know that every single little fight makes him doubt us and think about leaving me.
grouphug just makes everything worse because I read confessions from people who still miss someone years and years after the relationship ended. I am SO scared that's going to be me. In fact, I'm certain that it will be. I am exactly like my mother. She can't stay in a relationship to save her life and everyone hates her because she's so damn crazy. She's so lonely, and I'm slowly becoming more and more like her.
Sam is going to leave and nobody else will be able to deal with how messed up I am, and I'll be alone. At least that's my prediction. God I'm a whiney little brat.

That's rough. I've been in a similar situation and I can't say that losing him will be easy. I thought I knew the worst of heartbreak before, but this time was so much worse. And when it happened to me I became cold and ended up breaking a couple hearts myself just to be on the other side of the fence for a change. Seeing as I hate myself now for how evil I was, doing that is the last thing I would recommend.

I read that you smoke MariJ. That will help you, just don't go getting high everyday and obviously don't get caught.

All it takes is time. The pain goes away enough for you to love again and you can finally want to get better, a problem that you'll probably have at first. The best you can do once he leaves is try your best to remain someone who can be loved. Fish around and you're bound to find the right guy to be your partner for the next chapter of your life.

Thanks a lot for the advice. We've still got around 5 months until he leaves, but he's away in Jamaica right now for spring break, and how absolutely boring and miserable my life is right now without him (despite plenty of legitimate attempts to be sociable and have fun) is just really bumming me out.
When he's gone everything just feels so wrong, and it worries me sick.

Blagh! Thank you, really.

I just have to say, while it looks like you have genuine affection for your boyfriend, you really have to take a look at this situation. You have to ask yourself why you are so attached to him. I'm only saying this because I once invested myself in a guy for the wrong reasons. I just wanted a relationship and so I forced myself to love him.
Us ladies have come a long way. Don't make this guy the center of the universe just because you feel you need to have a man in your life. Whenever I lament about being single, I just think back to a phrase born out of the third wave feminist movement: "A woman without a man is like a zebra without a bicycle!" I know it's silly, but it's rooted in the truth. It's great if you genuinely love your boyfriend, but even if you do...you can't define yourself with his existance.

JGosling wrote:

I might as well ask here, because I don't know where else to ask it.

I met this one amazing girl near the beginning of the school year. I was struck by...well, everything about her. She is the kind of gorgeous that doesn’t fade with age, she's smart as hell, and she is great at picking up the spirits of her friends. (I know this from personal experience.)

There's just one problem, though. In the time between I said, "Yeah, she's amazing and all, but she probably has a boyfriend," and the time that I figured out that I need to be around this girl as much as possible, she found herself a boyfriend.

Don't misunderstand--if she were dating a great guy, I could probably just suck it in and be happy for her. But she's not. The dude isn't the worst-looking guy in the world, but he's incredibly immature and unkind. His interest doesn't go much farther than smoking pot, watching sports, and drinking beer. He's mostly dating her just for the sex. Even worse, they hardly get to see each other since she is so busy with school activities and work obligations. (Doesn't sound bad? Well, the little bit of spare time she has is spent with this guy, leaving me in the cold.)

She's said some things to me that could be interpreted as being interested in me, but they could also mean nothing. I want this woman more than I've wanted any other woman, but if I'm wrong, then our friendship is basically over--meaning that I won't have anybody to talk to at 12:30 at night. And yes, she is smart, but she's also young and insecure, and the way she talks about her guy, she seems to be more happy that she HAS a boyfriend than who her boyfriend is.

So, as far as I can see, I've got 3 choices:

1: Put this out of my mind for another month and see if she comes to her senses. Eventually, she's going to wake up and wonder, "What am I doing dating HIM?" But this might land me in the "friend zone", or leave her with the "I just got OUT of a relationship" excuse.

2: The next chance I get, lay my heart, liver, intestines, everything I've got on the table, and give the big speech that you always see the sensitive dude make in chick flicks. Advantage: I get this out of my system. Disadvantage: the obvious.

3: Get her something great for her birthday, which is coming up. Not just "oh, what a nice present" great, but "hey, this is more than my boyfriend spent on me" great.

And...your turn.

For what it's worth, he ended up cheating on her. Confronted with this, he defended himself by saying that he was going to break up with her anyway. This happened a week after her birthday. Meanwhile, I'm still a sweetheart. Go me.